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Ramblings of an Imbalanced Mind

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Sparkles
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sunshine_rays
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January 10th, 2010

Week 2 begins

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Sparkles
Sorry I can't come up with more interesting titles for my entries.  I suppose I could, after I write whatever the hell I'm going to write the the text box.  Perhaps I'll try this next time.

So, the past week has been so-so as far as achieving my goals.  I cannot honestly say whether I've lost 2 lbs, although I hope so.  I'll be weighing myself at the end of the month, and the total weight loss should be about 8 lbs (bringing us to a total weight of 243).  I don't feel, however, that the fact that we've not been balls-to-the-wall with it is a precursor of doom.  Rather, I'm looking at it as room for improvement.  If I were scoring myself on a scale of 1 to 10, I'd score myself thusly on this past week:

Monday: 10
Tuesday: 5
Wednesday: 10
Thursday: 4
Friday: 4
Saturday: 2
Sunday: 2

And I'm detecting a pattern.  On the days when I eat right, do not "cheat" or slip, get in enough protein, etc, I have plenty of time and energy to exercise.  On the days that I do not manage to eat enough or right, I don't, so I don't go to the gym.  So for this week, I will do the following to help myself:
1. Pre-prepare meals at home so that I can grab them and go the next day
2. Lay out my clothing (workout) for the week
3. Make sure I have healthy snacks at work

And finally, I'm going to stop stressing about whether I got the position or not.  It's not that big a deal if I didn't - I love my current job.  If I did get the new one, then that's great too.  I cannot let my work stresses (or cravings for Mexican food!) derail me.  I am back, dammit, and my body's going to fall in.  I refuse to live my life as a fat person any more.  That's not who I am on the inside, and it's time for me to be a true reflection of myself.
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January 4th, 2010

Drumroll....

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We have the official starting weight!  It's 251.  So, if I reach my goal of losing 100 lbs this year, I still will be about 20-25 lbs from my "ideal" weight.  But hey - something to do next year, right?  Nathan, who joined me at the gym tonight (yay!) is checking in at about the same.  The VERY BEST PART about trying to lose weight is when you have someone in your house who is doing the same thing.  That way, we can support one another all the way.  I made us a wonderfully healthy breakfast this morning, and will be doing the same thing every morning.  My new plan is to shower at night, so that's one less thing for me to worry about in the morning.  I think it's going to make it easier to stick to this, and NEVER ever ever skip breakfast.  I ate two small meals at work, plus a protein shake right before working out, and I felt satisfied all day.  Sliced grilled chicken breast and steamed broccoli for supper, plus some power-shopping at Wal-mart, and I'm about ready to call it a night.

One month from today I will weigh in again and let you know what the results are.  I'm so excited about my new lifestyle.  I think it really just took me looking in the mirror at myself and going, "okay, come on.  You're better than this."

Well, I'm off to get a nice warm shower and then some much needed rest.  Catch you on the flip side!
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January 3rd, 2010

Days 2 & 3

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I am really feeling positive about my new lifestyle.  I started things off on a good note today (Saturday) with an all-day clothes folding/washing marathon.  This was accomplished with some help from Captain Jack Sparrow.  :-)  In fact, I am washing a load of sheets right now, and then after that I have two more loads of random stuff to get through.  THEN, all of our clothes and towels will be clean!  And since I'm not leaving them for months at a time any more, next Saturday's loads should go much faster. 

Turns out that Alicia is also trying to lose weight this year.  Yay!  Here's wishing the best for her, and that she reaches her goal of being under 200 in 200 days.  Personally, I'm hoping that by next year, I can actually RUN at the McGuires' 5K.  Oh, and not to mention look totally HOT next New Year's Eve!

It seems that it's easier to eat less when you just don't think about it.  That's my main problem, I think - portion control.  I have done really well today at eating small meals spaced out with a few hours between.  And I will admit to the popcorn later on, but it was light, with light butter!  Now we just need to amp up this exercise program here.  Now that all my workout clothes are clean, I got no excuses for not going to the gym on Monday (not that I would try and use any!).  Tomorrow (today, really) is shopping day, so I'm making a list of healthy foods we need to buy.  On that list is also a new battery for the scale, so that I can officially weigh myself and see how far we have to go.  You can't make progress if you don't know where you're starting from!

Updating will probably be spottier from here on out, but I will try for at least once a week.  I'm going to be carrying a journal to jot down thoughts, so that I can transfer those that are worth it to here.  So, until next time, friends!
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January 1st, 2010

Day One

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Happy 2010, everyone!  I hope that everyone made it home safely from their revelry.  We had a really nice time, both with my two future husbands at The Cabaret, and then at Chris and Kat's house later (until 4 a.m.!)  However, spending some much-needed girl time with Kat was the highlight of the evening.  She is struggling with some of the same things that I am, or have been over the past few years.  While talking to her, I came to a realization.

Brace yourselves.

Here it comes.

I am fat.

That's not to say that I've been fooling myself that these "18" labels in my pants are really 8's.  I am well aware that I am bigger than I want to be, and that I've half-assed tried for years to take the weight off.  It's just that when I look in the mirror from certain angles, it's easy to tell myself that I'm not "that" big.  And honestly, when you have boobs the size of mine (I can't see my toes, much less my stomach), it's a simple matter to not look at your stomach.  :-)

So, here's the deal.  Since it is highly unlikely that I will ever make it onto "The Biggest Loser" and get my fat ass kicked by Bob Harper (a dream of mine, incidentally), it appears that I will have to make my own Biggest Loser.  A healthy weight loss goal is 2 lbs per week.  There are 52 weeks in a year, starting with today, so theoretically I should be able to healthily lose 104 lbs this year.  As I intend to ring in next year (when I really am 27) with the gays and with a bang, I've decided that I want to be much thinner while doing so.

I promised Nathan that I would write out my plan, but to spare you I'll put it under the cut.  

The Plan.Collapse )
So, there you have it.  Not a fad diet, not anything groundbreaking, just common sense mixed in with some good advice from the trainers at my gym.  Honestly, I haven't set foot in there since October, but that's about to change.  I intend to be a new woman when January 1, 2011 rolls around.  I have clothes up in my closet in bins that I would at least like to put on again, even if I can't actually wear them because they're so out of style.  I know I've said this before, and I've tried losing weight before, only to become discouraged.  However, I feel that with some perseverance and self-control, I can be a much thinner, stronger (and much happier) person.

Here's to me and my skinny jeans!
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August 14th, 2008

Tweety Birds

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I'm really not sure what the deal is with the "Twitter" thing.  It seems as though we have undergone a massive ego boost, propagated by Facebook and MySpace.  It started with the "status" message on Facebook: Katherine is:__________.  Then, MySpace picked it up, and let us add little smiley/frowny icons.  Now, if I so choose, I can "Twitter"!  What excitement!  What progress!  What bullshit.

Now I have one more way to let everyone who so chooses know exactly what I'm doing every time I update.  And I can do it from anywhere!   Many times in a given day!  Who in the bloody, blistering hell cares what I'm doing at any given moment of the day?  No one, that's who.  And here's a secret for you - they don't care what you're doing, either.  They've only subscribed to you so that you'll subscribe to them, and they can be the most popular!  Now look - Twitter has created "celebrities", like MySpace did for Ms. Tequila.

On the off chance that someone does wish to know what you are doing, no longer do they have to press the speed-dial button to make the call to find out, or zap off an email.  Nope - now they can receive 500 text messages a day, and read them at their leisure.  Gone are the days when you actually had to make some contact with a person.  Here are the days when technology erases all human interaction.  

Don't get me wrong - I still love all of you "Twitterers" (or as I like to privately refer to you, "Twits").  I'm just afraid for the children I'll never have, and the nieces and nephews that I already do have.  Will they ever be taught in school how to properly write a letter?  I remember that from elementary school.  (Of course, Microsoft Word takes care of all the pesky details like formatting now, and even suggests what you should say.)  Will the children of the future even be taught to WRITE?  Or will they pop out of the womb and be issued a QWERTY keyboard?  Will they understand the value of having a private life, or will their every thought and emotion be broadcast via text message and email?  

Are we giving birth to a generation who will be more selfish, more self-serving, more self-involved, and more egocentric than even we are?

God, I hope not.

July 11th, 2008

Bored.

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This is what I do with my day...

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July 5th, 2008

I have discovered a way to make my daily homemade sandwich-for-lunch-at-work more palatable.  Generally, I stick with bread, two slices of real turkey (Oscar Mayer), and mustard.  However, since pre-packaged real cheese slices were on sale at Wal-Mart (Sargento! The good stuff!  For $2!), I've fancied it up a bit.  One slice of cheese plus two slices of Claussen's crispy dill sandwich pickles plus the above sandwich = sandwich heaven.  The only thing to make it better is to pair it with some (unfortunately) irresistible Lays Original potato chips.  I cannot fight off the attraction of the thinly sliced, greasy and salty but oh-so-good fried 'taters.  Trust me - I've tried.

NEW POST but I'm too lazy to post and go back and post again.

Hope everyone had a very happy and safe fourth of July.  Not that I think any of YOU would get drunk and drive, but the real danger lies in the people around us who do.  For example, the guy who very nearly clipped my bumper whilst trying to cut Scott off in order to...turn right faster?  I'm not sure what HIS deal was, but it didn't help the heart palpitations I was already having, since I was in the back seat of my car and letting Scott drive it...

In his defense, Scott drove very carefully, and can drive a stick shift very well.  We had no incidents, minus that one jerky takeoff, and the one jerky driver.  I'm just a very nervous passenger in my own car, and a REALLY nervous one when I'm in the back seat.  I like to allow for a healthy amount of space between me and the car ahead of me, so that if they stop suddenly, I can avoid hitting them.  Most people I know and I have a difference of opinion on just what that precise healthy amount is, so I try to distract myself with other things.  That cuts way down on the frequent gasps of terror when the brake lights ahead of us come on, and my driver doesn't   a) notice    b) care    c) react immediately.  I have a feeling that this reaction to other peoples' driving will lead to  a) chronic indigestion   b) stomach ulcers   c) me drinking less and being the designated driver more.  That's a sad state of affairs, but you've gotta do what you've gotta do.

I would like to know what happened to the lessons we were taught in Driver's Ed - easing on the brakes, so as not to give your passengers constant whiplash.  My teacher liked it if his head never left the rest - no jerky stops or quick starts.

So, in about half an hour, I'm headed over to Style Downtown to have my legs waxed, a process that gives Malinda great pleasure, but makes my legs feel as though they are afire for several hours.  I did just take some Ibuprofen, as suggested, so hopefully that'll kick in before I get there.  I can understand her glee, since I get the same sensation by ripping the hairs out of Steven's back.  It's fun to take something very hairy and make it smooth and nice.  And trust me, my legs need it.  Although not how you'd think - the first time I went, a month ago, to have this done, we couldn't get all the hairs out on my knee because some weren't long enough.  So she told me to grow them out for at least two weeks, then they'd be long enough.  Well, I haven't shaved them since, and those knee hairs are NASTY long.  So are the other hairs we couldn't get.  Interestingly, the originally waxed hairs have not grown back out just yet.  Could I be one of those lucky individuals whose leg hair either grows back slowly, or not at all, once ripped out at the root using hot wax?  I sure hope so.

I suppose that's about enough rambling for now.  Since it's only 15 minutes to closing time, I now have seven customers in the store.  Seven.  No one until 1:00, then in comes the crowd to stay until 3:15 and make me late for my appointment.  C'est la vie.

May 22nd, 2008

Wow, is business booming today!  So booming that I've had time to re-read all my journal entries for the last two years, as well as all of Nicolas' ([info]kingnick).  It's always a treat to look back at yourself, and think, "Wow, I was really naive," or "Hrm, I actually was kinda funny back then."   

So booming that Suellen's actually taken the day off, and is messing around in her (adorable) vegetable garden while wearing rain boots.  :-D  In other interesting tidbits, she was told by her doctor this morning to "avoid using" her elbow.  Which begs the questions, how often do you actually use your elbow?

Now, that's not to say that I haven't been interrupted from my time-travels by exactly three customers, whose gross total each came to less than thirty dollars.  Because I have.  

The reason for the lackage of warm bodies is clear, at least to some - there is construction on Zaragoza Street (where the store is located) where it intersects with Florida-Blanca Street.  For those of you who don't know, that's a little further down from us.  This blockage of the intersection due to construction means that our section of Zaragoza is now a two-way street instead of one-way.  In my humble (and unsolicited) opinion, this makes getting to and from our store easier, because one is not forced to go left, when right is so much closer.  One can now go right!  And no one can stop one!  Most exciting.  Our neighboring businesses, however, are not happy, because they feel that the construction is hindering business.  I think it's the crappy economy, and the fact that most of us are getting closer to the dreaded Big BD on the calendar - Bills Due days.  I know I am.  It's funny, because sometimes when I add it up, I'm going to be about $10 short of paying all my bills; other days, I'll have a $56 excessage of funds.  Wee-eird.

So, who wants an update about my life?  You?  Great.  Click there.


So, that's about it.  Forgot to eat lunch until about 2 pm.  Invited Adam over to see the house tonight.  Nick, wanna hang out sometime between June 16th and June 18th?  We can celebrate your birthday (late, I know).  Also, wanna come to the bach party on June 19th?  It'll be out in Archer at the happy couple's new place, but we can crash there.  It'll be fun, and you know Anita and Tony (vaguely).  It'd be nice to have a familiar face there.

That's it for now, friends.  Love, peace, chicken grease.

Woo, narcotics are not for me.  They make my head spin and float.  I don't even know what quixotic means, but the little happy dude looks like I feel.

March 1st, 2008

Well, I read something this morning that I wouldn't have believed in a million years.  It's a shameful waste, to me, and indicates that pride will allow people to stoop to levels that were previously unthought of.

In other news...

Anyone wanna cook tomorrow?  It's technically Nathan's night, but he's got to run the Ice Pilots game and then do some editing on his EFP project.  Of course, he could avoid most of the editing late tomorrow night if he'd do it this afternoon instead of playing hockey with Scott, but that's not going to happen.  No, siree - can't let little things like schoolwork, responsibility, and sleep get in the way of a damn hockey game on the XBox.

I've become resigned to the fact that Scott and NHL 07 will win out over me or anything else, any time.  Kinda sucks for me.

So if anyone wants to trade with him, that'd be great.  Otherwise, I'll end up picking up the slack, and quite frankly, I can't afford to.  This month sucks - I barely paid my bills, and I have NOTHING extra left over.  Oooh, here's an idea.  I've got a can of tomatoes and tomato sauce, and various noodles.  If somebody else can bring me some of those frozen meatballs, a bell pepper, and an onion, I'll make spaghetti.  I'll have regular noodles, ditalini, garden rotini, and whatever else kinda pasta I have stored.  It'll be a spaghetti extravaganza!!!  Hell, screw the onion, just bring me the bell pepper and the meatballs.  You know you love my spaghetti.  And yes, Adam, I have the stuff to make you a low-calorie alfredo sauce.  HELP!!!!

See, I have no pride at all.

P.S. - I'm not sure I have Parmesan cheese, either.

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